FREE TRIP TO VEGAS FOR TWO!

Valid until 12/31/2016. Must bring proof of identification and dates of availability. Coupon requires the companion to be of a certain quality.* Please see below for more detail.

*Companion must be a 23 year old redhead named Katie who has a pacemaker and other various ailments. She must also have a secret first name and know the meaning of the word "truly." A birth certificate will be required as confirmation of this specification.